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Our sorry asses as MLB elite prospects


For the next sim, I decided to put every Wombat team owner in history into the 2007 MLB draft, as elite prospects. 2007, as its the first year of Wombat, and we were young enough then to make this work. I'll then sim the next 10-15 years, and see what happens. I opted to give each of us a different position.

Catcher - Mike. Shit talking, quick to fight. Think AJ Pierzinski.

First Base - Carl. Big power hitting first baseman, should fare well in this league.

Second Base - Dean.

Short Stop - Zach. Dean and Zach seem like they're quick, and the smallest out of all of us. Kinda makes sense? Third Base - Nick. Quiet, maybe underappreciated. Kyle Seager-esque.

Left Field - Me

Center Field - Matt

Right Field - Jon. Had to put someone in between Jon and I. Matt seems like he'd be a rangy defensive minded fielder. Jon and I are standard corner outfielders, more or less.

Starting Pitcher - Brandon. The sullen, moody starter. Chris Sale-ish.

Closer - Kevin. Jonathan Papelbon 2.0.

The Draft:

We're all pretty highly rated as prospects, with some of us requesting more money than others. In the end, we'd all go in round 1, within the first 20 picks actually. Here's the draft results.

  • Nick went #1 overall to the Pirates, a very Nick-ish team if you ask me. Mr. Big Shot thinks he's cool now cause he went first pick.

  • Jon was next up at pick #6, to the Diamondbacks. He'll look to supplant his boy Carlos Quentin at RF.

  • I had the misfortune of being selected by the ugly ass Nationals at #9. This is pre-Harper and Strasburg Nats, so its REALLY ugly. Hopefully I demand a trade.

  • Dean goes to Seattle, at pick #12. If all breaks well he could start for them soon, in between Ichiro and Adam Jones.

  • Bran gets to join my boy Lincecum in San Fran, in place of MadBum, who was drafted #2 to the Astros. I'm jealous.

  • Matt becomes a Yankee boy at #15. He'll be able to hang out with Johnny Damon, Matsui, and Jeets. Ewww.

  • Carl goes to the Padres next, basically replacing Kyle Blanks as their first baseman of the future.

  • The Cardinals take Mike, and as of the draft, they didn't even have a catcher on their roster - he may be able to break in as a rookie, with a in his prime Pujols.

  • The Phillies take Kev as their closer of the future. He'll join a stacked team with Utley, Howard, and Cole Hamels.

  • Finally Zach goes, at #19, to the Cubbies. He'll be ranked one of their top prospects, along with catching prospect Josh Donaldson.

Next post: I'll post the results of over 20 years of simulation, recapping our careers, as well as what happens in MLB. It's intense, and fucking awful as an O's fan.


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