Your optimism will not last. These are the teams of summer, and winter is coming.
Crab Cakes:
Nomnomnomnom! The Crab Cakes double as both my favorite food and my favorite team to beat in a World Series. Led by Donald J Trump *ahem* Daniel J Wightman, the Crabbies went into the 2017 draft hell-bent on trying to make what was once old, new again. For the 2nd time in his GMing career he cashed in a 1st round pick to acquire Wil Myers, the first bas- wait, He drafted a DH with the 2nd overall pick? Over SHORTSTOP Trevor Story? *SPITS IMAGINARY COFFEE ALL OVER DAN’S IMAGINARY FACE* Next Dan managed to improve his squad as a whole after dealing the man, the myth, the legend Clayton Kershaw. For the second time. The day after the draft. Yes, really. Will all these same moves he’s tried before work this time? What is the definition of insanity?
Prediction: Despite having them miss the playoffs upon first writing this, I now have the Crab Cakes finishing 1st despite an injury-plagued season by Wil Myers. That either shows you how close this division is or how much predictions dont mean shit- up to you. Anyway, Dan ends up cutting Myers during the playoffs to prevent a non-playoff team from keeping him, and then drafts him with his first pick in 2018. The next day he include Myers in a trade for Clayton Kershaw.
Han Solo Shots
GM Mike is already lighting the fantasy world on fire(along with his outfield,) by acquiring Clayton Kershaw in a blockbuster trade with the only guy who would ever trade Clayton Kershaw (twice.) Somehow Mike didn’t have to give up Kris Bryant, but he did have to part with Julio Teheran, Christian Yelich, and the first pick in the 2017 draft, Charlie Blackmon. Oh, and for some reason a 2018 first round pick was in there too… which leads us to the biggest question about the Han Solo Shots 2017 season… are two of the best players in the league enough to carry them to the playoffs?
Prediction: No. Clayton Richard, Travis Jankowski(EDITORS NOTE: No longer the case) and Chris Owings are all in the starting lineup as of writing; and that’s just not going to pass muster in the NWL EAST. It wouldn’t be the first time a special season from an elite player or two masked sub-par production at other positions, but unless Ian Desmond hits 50 bombs in a shortened season it’s going to be an uphill battle in a compeittive divison. 4th place.
Kaidens Krew
This team actually scares me. I remember shouting several times during the draft “God Dammit Kevin!” Of course I was shouting in my head since I had lost my voice by the time the AWL draft was over. Freeman, LeMahieu, Diaz and Franco make up a rock solid infield while the outfield boasts fantasy stalwarts CarGo and Marte. The pitching didn’t seem to suffer in the draft at the expense of the offense either, as the Krew’s arms are highlighted by Arrieta, CMart, and Final Boss.
Prediction: 1st. Kaidens Krew wins the division because I feel bad picking myself in this forum, basically.
Killer Pandas:
The defending Champions started the 2017 season watching 5 players from their championship team drafted in the first 8 picks, not unexpected from a 19 win team, but hurtful nonetheless. GM Jon is just going to have to put on his big boy pants and get over it. He appears to tried to do exactly that when he drafted Kenta Maeda with the last pick of the 3rd round and proudly exclaimed “EVERYONE’S RACIST BUT ME!” In hindsight, that may have been in poor taste. The key to the Pandas season will be if they were able to find early round producers with late round picks as they did in 2016. Time will tell if Jon Gray, Addison Russel, and the aforementioned Kenta Maeda are in the first round next year or just hyped up nobodies. One things for sure: none of them will fill the hole Jose Fernandez left in my soul…...
Prediction: …….ANYWAY, Killer Pandas end the season tied with the same record as the Time Consumers, but the Pandas advance due to a tie-breaker, causing a league-wide chain-reaction of debate and discussion over what the tie breaker rules are and in what order they apply…. In the end, it will be another chapter in the history of the Killer Pandas miraculously overcoming the Time Cosumers with late season shenanigans.
Schatzy Turtles:
Taijuan Walker is on this team incase you guys were wondering. I was pretty sure Dan kept him but I double checked and this is the team he’s on. I don’t want to beat up ont he Turts too much because Pollock, Cespedes, DeGrom and Hill are scary to play against. The problem is I listed everyone on the team that scares me and that’s just not enough names. There is definitley a foundation of talent here, but I think GM Mattchew is going to have to make some shrewd trades or some savvy pick ups to keep the ship afloat.
Prediction: The ship sinks. 4th place. Or maybe it’s just easier to pick against the guy in the league least likely to read this!
Time Consumers:
The NWL EAST looks to be another dog fight this year and the TIme Consumers could easily be the team that comes out on top. With Paul Goldschmidt, Trea Turner, Trevor Story, and Gerrit Cole as the foundation for the present and future- it would be silly to doubt what this team is capable of. Ryan Braun is even breaking the record for longest keeper with 10 years kept... who would’ve thought? Steroids ARE worth it!
Prediction: 3rd place. Hey, someone’s gotta lose! As covered in the prediction for the Killer Pandas, I’m predicting flukeness to go down to make this result possible. Needless to say, I’m not confident at all in this pick, but thats the nature of predictions… they mean nothing! Woohoo!
Tommy Johns:
Like the NWL EAST, the NWL WEST is pretty competitive on paper. While I have all the confidence in the world in the Tommy John’s starting hitters and pitchers(with the exception of 1st base,) their depth can be scrutinized. While no team in the NWL is particularly deep, an injury to any of the starting hitters or pitchers could potentially sink the entire team. I was much more bullish on their chances originally, but…..
Prediction: In my original write-up, I had the Tommy Johns winning the division. However, after reviewing the other teams, some adjustments were made, and now I have them 3rd. Sorry bro! Even with studs at thin positions like Corey Seager and Buster Posey at Shortstop and catcher respectively, the depth was the tiebreaker with the Starts and Crabs.
Two Starts:
If certain things go right, namely Matt Harvey being an ace again and Jonathan Villar replicating his 2016 production, the Two Starts could be the winners of this division (and league.) If certain things go wrong, namely decline from Adrian Gonzalez, Ben Zobrist and Andrew McCutchen, the Two Starts could find themselves on the outside looking in. But with Lester and Scherzer there to calm the nerves, they appear to be in prime position to make a run, so why don’t we just split the difference?
Prediction: 2nd place. I expect a three headed race between the Starts, Crabs, and Johns to keep everyone relatively close to each other in the standings. When the music stops, who gets a seat? I’m betting on some aggressive GMing from Brandon to seal the deal.
Playoffs: Wild card party! Two Starts defeat the Crab Cakes and the Killer Pandas beat Kaidens Krew. Despite the Orioles being in the heart of the playoff push, Bran and Jon do not speak or hang out the entire week. Stanton powers the Pandas to an early lead, but on Wednesday, is hurt. The injury is followed by one to Arenado. By the weekend, it seems like batters in the Pandas lineup are being scratched for no god damn reason! Two Starts beat Pandas in the World Series for the 3rd time, 8.0-2.0. There friendship is never the same.
The 2017 NWL season, bad times.