Year number 11 in the AWL, let's look at a brief run down of each team and some terrible predictions.
Baseball Furies:
Possibly for the first time ever, GM Mike Ellis came into the draft with every one of his draft picks in hand. We know this was only because he was barred from trading them last year, but still – he actually had all his picks. The Furies took advantage of this rare opportunity, filling out what should be a solid team. With their first pick the Furies put Jon and the Kingslayers on tilt, “unexpectedly” taking Jean Segura with pick #3. Segura should be a solid addition, hitting in a loaded Mariners lineup, proving he was well worth such a high pick. Since the draft the Furies have traded their ace Justin Verlander for Kevin Gausman and Carlos Gomez, although this could be argued it was part of a larger NWL deal.
Prediction: Some disappointments include down years for Adrian Beltre, Felix Hernandez, and Cody Allen. GM Mike ends up moving three 2018 picks in attempt to make the playoffs however, just falling short in the last week of the season. 3rd place AWL East finish.
Cold Notes:
Going into the draft the Cold Notes were left with a tough choice of keepers, having to decide between the likes of Carlos Carrasco, Nelson Cruz, Ian Kinsler, and Aaron Sanchez. Through some luck and sound strategy, the Notes managed to end up with 3 of those 4. Chris Sale anchors the pitching staff, although there are already rumors he’s on the trading block. Yet to be seen what this will mean for staff. This team is a little vet heavy, counting on players like Brian McCann, Albert Pujols, and Jose Bautista. No one is saying they’re bad players yet, but GM Covey better hope for good health.
Prediction: Nelson Cruz keeps it going, proving he was a worthy keeper, hitting another 38 home runs this year. The Cold Notes win their division by 4 games.
Cosmos:
GM Matt Schatz wasn’t able to make the draft, which may have been a good thing, since he got to miss out on the terrible smell of Kevin’s farts and seeing Jon Glo flip out every 5 seconds. The newly minted Cosmos ended up with a very solid team, adding veterans like Jonathan Lucroy and Mike Napoli to the younger guns like Alex Bregman and Dylan Bundy. Hopefully Matt has heard by now, but GM Nick Glo had his own “Everth Cabrera” moment when the Cosmos took Kevin Keirmaier one pick before he could – it was quite the wonderful freakout.
Prediction: The offense looks good but the Cosmos pitching falters, leading to a 3rd place finish in their division.
Ham Sandwiches:
The Hammies went into the draft with the first pick, and after managing to resist peer pressure from other GM’s, the Hams made the right call and went with the obvious – Miguel Cabrera. Cabrera leads a solid infield, along with Jonathan Schoop, Fransisco Lindor, and Evan Longoria. It’s the rest of the team however that has some issues. There’s a lot of “boom or bust” picks, with GM Dan Wightman going for potential over proven work. The Hams better hope they get more boom than bust though, as the AWL West looks especially tough this year.
Prediction: More bust than boom. The Hams get hit with injuries and just overall bad play, leading to another last place finish. Dan cries.
Kev Bombs:
The defending champs paid the price for their ring, going into the year without a first or second round pick. They did manage to bring back several key players from their team last year though, including Khris Davis, Nomar Mazara, and Roberto Osuna. The Kev Bombs go into the year with “only” 5 Red Sox, so surely the Bombs will look to add more before the trade deadline. Chris Sale, Rick Porcello, Hanley Ramirez – be ready.
Prediction: The Bombs prove they’re no fluke, and take another AWL West title. Yu Darvish returns to ace form, finishing the year as the AWL’s #1 starter.
Kingslayers:
The Slayers started the draft with 49 of the first 50 picks, or just about. While it’s easy to make fun of them for picking 3 closers (and 1 relief eligible starter) within the first two rounds, this is defendable – they are proven and elite players, and great trade bait. No, instead, let’s make fun of Jon for taking Troy Tulowitzki in round 4. Unreal. Having drafted him in round 1 the previous year, you’d think he would have learned his lesson, but no. He just never will.
Prediction: Chris Archer has another mediocre year, and injuries hurt much of their team. This leads to them playing bridesmaid to the Kev Bombs again, making the playoffs as a wildcard.
Megalomaniacs:
The Chosen One had a tough choice, whether to drop his long time franchise player or a young explosive short stop. Hopefully he made the wrong call, although it’s unlikely. As far as the draft, the Megas went with “solid veterans”, including Matt Holliday, Kendrys Morales, Carlos Beltran, and reuniting with Hanley Ramirez.
Prediction: The offense puts up godly numbers but their pitching pitches like #3’s instead of aces. The Megas make the playoffs but only as a wild card.
Pez Sox:
The Sox weren’t afraid to “go big or go home” and selected David Price with their first pick of the draft. Price’s injury has him out for a few weeks, but the concern it’s a ticking time bomb before surgery. If he manages to stay healthy though, Price in the second round is the pick of the draft. The Sox offense is still anchored by Robbie Cano, but now he has Adam Jones to help, and the underrated Tyler Naquin. The Sox are in desperate need of bullpen help however, with zero closers on the roster.
Prediction: Price gets shut down for the year by week 7, and Kluber can’t do it all himself. The Sox go with their first ever full rebuild, trading their vets for multiple picks, and finishing 4th in their division.
Playoffs: Surprisingly, or not, it’s a rerun of last year’s matchups in round 1. However, this time both wildcards win, with Megas and Kingslayers advancing to the World Series. In a grueling week of Glo infighting, the Megas just edge by, with a score of 5.5 to 4.5. That Sunday night Jon dramatically drops to his knees, clenches his fists, and screams into the air, cursing Dean’s name. Carlyn videos it, and we all laugh at it for years to come.
The 2017 AWL season, good times.