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Dan's Random Opening Weekend Thoughts

  • The Padres have the ugliest uniforms in baseball, and holy hell is Andrew Cashner ugly. Hell of a pitcher though. Hopefully Dean hasn't found his NL ace.

  • Is the Smoak Monster for real?

  • God damnit Mike Trout.

  • Cliff Lee blows, he's definitely the worst keeper ever.

  • Poor Jimmy J.

  • Nelson Cruz needs to not be in the field and just be our DH. Dude can't even celebrate the right way.

  • I want Adam Wainright. and Chris Sale. and Justin Masterson. and Jose Fernandez.

  • Not R.A. Dickey though! What a sack of shit loser.

  • All of you bitches have good teams this year, or at least it appears that way. Even Mike does, despite not having a draft.


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